(Crimson) Red, White and Blue

Let me start by saying this post is about tampons not politics. That being said, I need to talk a little bit about this crap week, or rather, past 24 hours.

Yesterday I woke up and my coffee maker, something I have come to depend on for the last ten years, broke down and I was left with half a cup of cold and watery coffee to start the day. I should have known it would be all downhill after that.

But ignorantly and rather falsly optimistic like many of us, I continued about my day as a series of unfortunate events continued to unravel. I waited two and a half hours to vote, even after cutting half the line with my sob story about how I might miss preschool pick up for my two-year-old twins, and they would be left scared and alone – while this was true, it was also highly dramatized. The polling center could not find my name, despite having an election and district ID, leaving me even more hysterical as I filled out an affidavit ballot in desperation.

During this whole ordeal I got my period. Since I was too committed to the line and and there were no bathrooms in sight, I proceeded to just bleed through in solidarity and dedication to the process. It was not as gratifying as I thought it would be.

Later that afternoon, I went to get my roots quickly touched up and the hair highlighter bleached my entire head bright orange.

After a brief panic attack in the cab home, I turned around and decided to go back and have it fixed before my childrens’ swim lesson. However, the Uber car that I ordered stalled in picking me up and then tauntingly cancelled the trip as he finally approached – 12 minutes after the projected one minute wait time. So like any sane person, I kicked in his car and started banging on the glass windshield while shouting a few choice words…in front of a police officer and half of Central Park.

And last night, as I finally got into bed around midnight to end a very hysterical day, I was left with three realizations- my blonde hair was still pumpkin orange, I will have to find a way to tell my daughter that princess Hilary will not be living in the big White Castle that I promised she too, could live in some day, and I still had my period. W…T…F…!

Anyway, I was grateful that these tampons were delivered to my door in a discreet brown box. Likely the only easy thing that happened yesterday. They were small in size, made of 100 percent organic cotton – free of chemicals, dyes and other synthetic materials that probably shouldn’t go inside your body on such a regular basis – and they are incredibly absorbent. Sure wish I had one on the voting line…

You choose the assortment in each box, ranging from light to super plus, similar to your traditional tampon companies, and the frequency the boxes are delivered. Best of all, you do not have to think about buying tampons ever again. And I cannot tell you how many nights I have had run out to the drugstore in a complete frenzy, forgetting that I was completely out AGAIN. They send you a reminder your order is shipping each month and you can choose the delivery date based on your personal schedule. It is kind of like the Dollar Shave Club but for girls and it is organic, and has nothing to do with shaving, or personal grooming or skincare or men, for that matter.